Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Young Brad from the country applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. It was one of those massive stores that sells just about everything. The boss asked him, "Have you ever worked in sales before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in my home town," said Brad. The boss liked him instantly and said, "I'll give you a trial day here at the store, start tomorrow, and I'll come and see you after closing time to see how you went." When the boss met up with young Brad the next day at closing time, he saw him shaking hands with a beaming customer. After they parted, the boss walked over and asked, "Well, that looked good! How many sales did you make today?" "That was the only one," said the young salesman. "Only one!?!" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. You'll have to do better than that! Well, how much was the sale worth?" "Three hundred sixty five thousand, four hundred fifty two dollars," said young Brad. The boss stopped, truly stunned now . "Uhm, how did you manage that?!?" "Well, when he came in this morning and I sold him a small fish hook. Then, I sold him a medium hook, and then a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and then a big one. I then sold him a spear gun, a wetsuit, scuba gear, nets, chum, coolers, and a keg of beer. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said up the coast. We decided he would probably need a new boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then, he said that his old bomb car probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser, with a winch, storage rack, seat heating, and a built-in TV. Oh, and cup holders." The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?!" "No," answered the salesman. "He came in to buy a blanket." "A blanket?" "Yeah, an extra blanket for the couch. He just had a fight with his wife and was sleeping on the couch. I said to him, 'Well, your weekend's ruined, so you might as well go fishing...'" Now that's a good sales person... LOL Claire Your Jokemaster
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Chicken & Biscuits Prep Time: 15 min
Total Time: 50 min
Makes: 6 servings
What You Need!
1 can (10-3/4 oz.) condensed cream of chicken soup 3/4 cup BREAKSTONE'S or KNUDSEN Sour Cream, divided 2 cups chopped cooked chicken 1 pkg. (16 oz.) frozen mixed vegetables, thawed 1 cup KRAFT Shredded Mild Cheddar Cheese 1 cup all-purpose baking mix 3 Tbsp. milk Make It! HEAT oven to 375ºF. MIX soup and 1/2 cup sour cream in 8-inch square baking dish. Stir in chicken, vegetables and cheese. MIX baking mix, remaining sour cream and milk just until mixture forms stiff dough. SPOON into 6 mounds over chicken mixture. Bake 35 min. or until biscuits are golden brown and chicken mixture is hot and bubbly.
Kraft Kitchens Tips
You'll save 60 calories and 7 grams of fat per serving by preparing with reduced-fat condensed cream of chicken soup, BREAKSTONE'S Reduced Fat or KNUDSEN Light Sour Cream, KRAFT 2% Milk Shredded Cheddar Cheese and fat-free milk.
Serving Suggestion Serve with a crisp mixed green salad tossed with your favorite KRAFT Dressing.
How to Quickly Thaw the Frozen Vegetables Place vegetables in colander, then hold under warm running water until vegetables are thawed. Or, thaw vegetables in microwave as directed on package.
As the world's largest direct selling company, it's easy to see why millions of people just like you are enjoying the rewards of being their own boss. That's because selling Avon is unlike selling any other product - Avon stands above the rest and has for more than 120 years. Avon's product portfolio includes some of the most recognizable beauty brands in the world, including Avon Color, Anew, Skin-So-Soft, Avon Solutions, Advance Techniques and Avon Wellness. Avon continues to set new standards of product innovation and sales success with these global brands that reinforce Avon's beauty leadership, technology and customer loyalty. AVON Independent Sales RepresentativeBe Your Own BossDiscover the benefits of becoming an AVON Representative: Flexible home-based business Make your own hours Incredible earnings potential AVON Independent Sales Representative Location: Work from home; work online At a time when jobs are scarce and credit is tight, you can start an Avon business and take control of your finances. Avon offers hundreds of innovative beauty products created in our own state of the art $100 million Research & Development Center. Because Avon Independent Sales Representatives sell these products directly to customers, you can offer them at a smart value. Becoming an Avon Independent Sales Representative offers unlimited opportunities. Even if you’ve never sold a product before, you can do it – with Avon. As the world’s leader in anti-aging skincare, fragrances and color cosmetics, we make it easy for you to sell and succeed, right away. Avon is a proven path to success for millions of Representatives around the world, from all ages, cultures and walks of life. Over 5 million Avon Representatives worldwide are enjoying these advantages – and so can you: Flexible home-based business Minimum start-up investment – for a little more than the price of a lipstick, you can run your own Avon business. Set your own hours No inventory required Unlimited earning potential – sell and share the opportunity with those you recruit and mentor for greater financial rewards. Excellent opportunities in selling Avon – enjoy great rewards and incentives, access to preferred suppliers of health insurance, participation in the exclusive Avon Independent Sales Representative Savings Plan, training, scholarships, product discounts, and more. You’ll enjoy direct access to proven marketing and selling tools, special product incentives, earnings opportunities and ongoing support. You’ll quickly see why more than 5 million people around the world are enjoying financial success and personal growth as Avon Independent Sales Representatives. In person and on-line Avon celebrates and rewards your success as you build your personal sales: Rewards and discounts exclusive to new Representatives Fast Start Bonus Program for Avon Sales Leadership Sales rallies and celebrations throughout the year Product gifts, FREE sales aids and monetary awards for product sales growth Exclusive prizes, recognition and award trips to fun, exotic destinations for top performers Celebrity endorsements such as Reese Witherspoon, Patrick Dempsey, and Courteney Cox When you run your own business there’s no limit to your financial and personal success with Avon! When you work for others, they determine your salary, your hours, and often, your career path. Your potential is driven by your goals and determination. Choose to work as little as 20 hours a week – and you could earn more than from a “regular” part-time job. Some of our Sales Leaders enjoy six figure incomes, and luxury vacation packages – with Avon, you can make your dreams a reality. There’s never been a better time to join Avon. So take control of your destiny by taking advantage of this opportunity and say hello to a brighter tomorrow. The opportunity being presented is for an Independent Sales Representative and is not an employment opportunity with Avon. Go to www.youravon.com/alewin and click on contact me to get started. You can apply online. So, where ever you live you can apply through me. A representative in your area will contact you.
2010 COLA For the first time in history, Congress will not allow an increase in the social security COLA (cost of living adjustment). In fact, The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation predicts there may not be anysocial security COLA for the next three years. However, the per person monthly Medicare Insurance premium will be increased from the 2009 premium of $96.40 to $104.20 in 2010 and to $120.20 for the year 2011. Send this to all the seniors that you know and remind them not to vote for the incumbent senators and congressmen in the 2010 and the 2012 Elections. And don't forget - CONGRESS GAVE THEMSELVES A PAY RAISE IN THIS YEAR OF LITTLE TO NO INFLATION... WHAT KIND OF CR*P IS THAT?????? They take good care of themselves - screw the people they are supposed to be representing! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Proverbs 22:9 A generous man will himself be blessed,for he shares his food with the poor. The promise here is very simple: The person who seeks to relieve the wants and misery of others will be blessed. What sorts of blessings do we receive when we share with others? The practice of giving out of a generous heart enables us to escape the hold of material things and the power money has over us. We are also freed from unexpected disappointment that descends when financial success fails to satisfy the soul. Instead we grow emotionally and spiritually as we experience fulfillment through real stewardship and the joy of loving sacrifice. Giving to those in need is not an obligation, but an opportunity. Think about your standard approach to money and belongings. Ask yourself, "Am I holding on with a tight fist or offering my open hand to share with those in need? What do you think? Discussion at: http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?et=1102787899902&s=74870&e=001zUG3q18gZZXqUqZsLUORJ8WVDXCUR_P94X4VCLw5jJLh8_D-YjmsprwcZpzl0WRxktkJ0b7qP_duYj9YMXW5Klnlvqhrj3xUSq6YacGzzLnIMSr9NomVjoFiqr_4r42Y1Qoi-xafe9I= ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Weekly Memory Verse Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Religious BoyA girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist." Thanks to: Dennis
Friday, October 23, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
My physics teacher in high school, Mr . Wooley, once told us that while one grasshoper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a billion of them would . With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a good American . Good idea .. . . one light bulb at a time . . . .Check this out . I can verify this because I was in Lowes the other day for some reason and just for the heck of it I was looking at the hose attachments . They were all made in China . The next day I was in Ace Hardware and just for the heck of it I checked the hose attachments there . They were made in USA . Start looking .In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or do affects someone else - even their job . So, after reading this email, I think this lady is on the right track . Let's get behind her!My grandson likes Hershey's candy . I noticed, though, that it is marked made in Mexico now . I do not buy it any more . My favorite toothpaste Colgate is made in Mexico now . I have switched to Crest . You have to read the labels on everything .This past weekend I was at Kroger . I needed 60 W light bulbs and Bounce dryer sheets . I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE brand I normally buy was an off brand labeled, "Everyday Value . " I picked up both types of bulbs and compared the stats - they were the same except for the price . The GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in - get ready for this - the USA in a company in Cleveland , Ohio .So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every day that are made right here .So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets . . . yep, you guessed it, Bounce cost more money and is made in Canada . The Everyday Value brand was less money and MADE IN THE USA! I did laundry yesterday and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using for years and at almost half the price!My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA - the job you save may be your own or your neighbors!If you accept the challenge, pass this on to others in your addressbook so we can all start buying American, one light bulb at a time! Stop buying from overseas companies!(We should have awakened a decade ago . . . . . . )Let's get with the program . . . . help our fellow Americans keep their jobs and create more jobs here in the U . S . A .
An elderly man in Florida had owned a farm property for severalyears.He had a good sized pond at the back of the land, done up nicely; atable and chairs, beautiful flower arrangements, and some trees forshade from the sun. The pond was ideal for swimming, although theold man didn't much like swimming.One evening he decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't beenthere for a while, and check that all was all right. He grabbed abucket with which to bring back some fruit from the trees nearby.As he got to the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughingand water splashing.As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young womenskinny-dipping in his pond.He made the women aware of his presence and with a shriek, they allswam to the far end of the pond.One of the women shouted to him, "Go away, we're not coming outuntil you leave!"The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladiesswim naked or to make you get out of the pond naked." Holding thebucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator." Moral: Oldmen can still think fast. LOLClaireJokemaster
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Canastota Varsity Football team will be going to sectionals. The boy in picture is my son. It is his first year in Varsity and we are so excited that they might go all the way!
By JOSH HINESDispatch Sports Staff
CANASTOTA — Sam Stagnitti spun into the end zone with 29.7 seconds remaining to lift Canastota to a 21-14 victory over Herkimer on Friday in the Section III Class C playoffs.Stagnitti’s 2-yard touchdown run erased the memories of two fumbles on Canastota’s previous two drives that could have ended its playoff run.
“What a tremendous bunch of guys I got,” Canastota coach Eric Van Slyke said. “A lot of teams would have quit and packed it in.”
Canastota (5-2) needed to drive 83 yards with 3:40 remaining to overcome a 17-14 deficit. The Raiders did it thanks in large part to a Bill Marsh screen pass to Zack Zupan on the right sideline on third-and-seven from their own 31-yard line.Zupan wheeled around the corner and the only thing preventing him from scoring was a holding penalty near Herkimer’s 20-yard line.With the ball placed on Herkimer’s 33-yard line, the Raiders pounded the ball up the middle with Stagnitti’s 5-foot-8, 210-pound frame. An 11-yard run by the bruising back put the ball on Herkimer’s five-yard line. Stagnitti’s scored two plays later, spinning into the end zone.
“It was quite a spin move,” Van Slyke said with a grin. “I didn’t know he had moves like that. I guess maybe we’ll put him on ‘Dancing With The Stars’ next.”
Senior running back Jake LaBarre led Canastota with 142 yards rushing on 21 carries. Stagnitti added 46 yards and two touchdowns.Behind running back John Bellinger, Herkimer (2-5) started the game with a promising drive. On second-and-15 from Canastota’s 32-yard line, Herkimer quarterback Mike Fahy passed to the right sideline but was intercepted by Zupan. The freshman returned the ball 60 yards to Herkimer’s 20-yard line.LaBarre and Stagnitti shared carries on the drive, with Stagnitti punching in a 1-yard run to give Canastota a 7-0 lead with 1:40 remaining in the first quarter.
Herkimer tied the game on a 20-yard touchdown run by Bellinger with 7:36 remaining in the second quarter. Bellinger led the Magicians with 136 yards rushing on 27 carries.Canastota answered on its ensuing drive. LaBarre broke a 57-yard run to Herkimer’s 10-yard line to set himself up for an 8-yard touchdown run two plays later.Jamie Meade’s extra point made it a 14-7 lead.Herkimer cut into the deficit with a 40-yard field goal by Fahy, making it 14-10 at halftime.After a scoreless third quarter, Herkimer took the lead early in the fourth quarter. Fahy found Myles Malta in the back of the end zone for a 3-yard touchdown pass.Fahy’s extra point put the underdog Magicians ahead 17-14 to the delight of their fans.
Canastota’s chances of a comeback dimmed with turnovers on consecutive possessions.Jeff Merrell fumbled on the ensuing kickoff. Marsh pounded his fists on the field after fumbling the ball on the Raiders’ next drive when trying to wrestle away from a tackler.The Raiders, though, kept playoff aspirations alive with an exhilarating 83-yard, 12-play scoring drive in the nick of time.
“Wow, my heart can’t take this anymore,” Van Slyke said with a few laughs.
Herkimer 0 10 0 7 - 17
Canastota 7 7 0 7 - 21
C: Sam Stagnitti 1 run (Jamie Meade kick)
H: John Bellinger 20 run (Mike Fahy kick)
C: Jake LaBarre 8 run (Meade kick)
H: Fahy 40 FGH: Fahy 3 pass to Myles Malta (Fahy kick)
C: Stagnitti 2 run (Meade kick)
Thursday, October 15, 2009
www.enchantedpotions.com/store/aGo.asp?aff=1092 If Apple is your favorite scent or you prefer the Zen scent of Rain Forest, Enchanted Potions has it. You do not see your favorite? Use our Get My Scent Guest Service and we will find it, just for you because, at Enchanted Potions, you are not just our customer, we consider you our friend. Pay now with Paypal,Visa,Mastercard or your GiveAnything.com gift certificate! Looking for something more than a gift? We offer a wonderful distributor program for people that want to work from home. Because each order is made fresh when purchased, your order may take up to 14 BUSINESS DAYS to ship. (Weekends and Holidays do not count in this estimate) Our extremely fresh and fragrant products are more than worth the wait!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
How Scottish Policemen enforce the Road Rules A London Lawyer in his flash new BMW is pulled over by a Scottishpoliceman. He says, "Sir, I pulled you over because you didn't stopat the STOP sign. That'll be a 100 pound fine" The lawyer looks athim "100 pound?!!!", then pretty agitated: "Look, I slowed down allright? What difference does it make, I slowed down surely that'senough." The policeman raises a brow and looks at him: "Sir, it's aSTOP sign, so that means you have to stop not just slow down." Thelawyer rolls his eyes, thinks for a moment and then saysarrogantly, "Okay, I'll tell you what, if you can show me how itmakes a difference whether I slow down or stop, then I'll pay thefine."The policeman says "all right then" pulls out his baton and startsto bash the lawyer. The lawyer screems "what are you doing?" Thepoliceman says calmly "Do you want me to slow down or stop?" Cheers,Claire CroninYour Jokemaster
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
- Crack found in Man?s buttocks - One handed man applauds the kindness of strangers - Chick accuses some of her male colleagues of sexism - Poison Control Centre reminds everyone not to take poison - Great Tits cope well with global warming (Great Tits are a bird variety) - Keegle fills Seichman?s gap with Seeman - Tiger Woods plays with own balls, spokeman said - Margie weds long time girlfriend, slams Bush - Child wins gun from fundraiser - Federal Agents raid gun shop and find weapons - Condom truck tips and spills it?s load - Army vehicle disappears after being painted with camouflage
Monday, October 5, 2009
Everyday Surprises owned and operated by Sherri Janczuk. Everyday Surprises is a new and exciting specialty merchandise retailer. Our goal is to help our customers escape the predictability of every day items with unique solutions to home decor and gift-giving needs, while delivering surprising quality and design.We also offer a variety of wedding supplies. If you can't find what you are looking for or you need something in a different color please request it. When you come to The Market @ Oneida Commons, ask to see vendor # 24's area. visit www.everydaysurprises.com See slideshow in side bar
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
ICE CREAM CONE CUPCAKES -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 package dry cake mix (any flavor)24 cake cup ice cream coneswater, oil and eggs per cake mix directions on box
Preheat oven to 350F.Mix cake mix per directions on box. If using a white cake mix, divide mix into four separate mixing bowls and use food coloring to make different ice cream "flavors".
Place ice cream cones in muffin pan and fill about 1/2 to 3/4 full.
Bake 15 to 20 minutes or until done. Cool on a wire rack. Let cool completely if frosting.
Makes 18 to 24 cupcakes